couples get back together every day; you just need to understand how it happens

My Success Story - Lisa

I met Lisa at a Chinese restaurant. She flirted with me with her eyes, so I asked her name and told her I wanted to analyze her handwriting. She knew what I was doing, because she was no idiot, but at the time I was kind of an idiot myself about women, and I thought handwriting analysis was my clever pickup subterfuge. She played along. We went on a date and it got physical immediately.

After a while I was spending all weekend with her, every weekend. It was fun, but I was used to having a lot of time to myself. I wanted to be a writer, and although a lot of people hate being alone, I liked it because it allowed me to concentrate and write. I still kind of feel that way often. I broke up with her, and I didn't think it would be a big deal because it seemed like what we were doing was only physical anyway. But it was a big deal.

She got me back by helping me find a nice place to live. With her. When I said, "my ex-girlfriend wants me to become her roommate", my friends all told me I was an idiot. But the place she had in mind was an amazing place, and she had an amazing deal on it, and I was pretty young. I was like, "sure! I'll move in with my ex-girlfriend! We didn't work as a couple, but we might work as roommates!" It all made sense to me at the time.

We didn't have to be living together for a very long time before we got back together. We got drunk and started making out and things just kinda went from there in the most predictable direction they could. That includes the relationship not working - it hadn't worked before, and nothing had really changed on that front. So I decided to move out.

The crazy part is, we stayed friends, and not just in name only, like most people; we still hung out from time to time. You can probably guess what happened with all that hanging out from time to time: we started having sex from time to time as well. All in all, I must have broken up with that girl and gotten back together with her ten or fifteen times. It was ridiculous. On the deeper levels, we just didn't want the same things out of life at all, but we were comfortable together, and it always seemed to make sense at the time, right up until we realized we were making each other unhappy, again.

The bad news there is that sometimes getting back together with somebody isn't the right move to make. You have to have more at stake emotionally than hooking up and being comfortable together. Lisa and I were really just killing time together. You have to ask yourself, was my relationship meaningful? Do I really have something important at stake here?

The good news is I got back together with Lisa so many different ways I can't even remember them all. Sometimes it was my idea, sometimes it was hers. One time we even had a rule that we were friends in the city we lived in, but we could have sex if we went out of town together. Why we came up with that rule, I don't remember. I won't even pretend it made the slightest bit of sense. But we tried every trick in the book to make things work, and I can tell you for sure, if you want to get back together with somebody, there are a million ways to do it.

For instance, if a girl dumps you, thank her for it. Stay in touch with her. Tell her how much better your life is now, and tell her how much you learned from her, and how you're doing the right thing with women now. Explain to them that they made the world a better place for women by teaching you what you needed to learn. Apologize for the pain they went through while you learned that, and tell them, "even though our relationship didn't work out, I'm glad you're my friend, because I owe you a lot. Any time I can help you out, just let me know. I gotta go now, I have a date."

What's she going to think? She's going to think, I went through all that anguish and heartache to make him into a better man, and now some other chick gets the new improved him for free? She's going to feel like that other girl is robbing her. That other girl doesn't even need to exist. Whether she's real or not, she'll bring your ex back to you so fast it'll make your head spin. There's more to it than that, of course - the maturity and the gratitude are the real power moves in this tactic.

That's just one of the tricks I learned. But you need more than a set of tips and tricks. You want to get your ex back for real - that's not about mind games. With Lisa and I, it was inevitable that we would part ways. We just delayed the inevitable. If you want to get your ex back and keep her (or him), you need more than this. You need strategy. You can use this trick if you want, but if you don't have a strategy for taking your relationship to the next level and making your love strong and secure, you'll need a new trick some time later when it falls apart again.

I can give you a quick, short-term fix right here, and I have lots more where that came from, but if you want something real, from somebody who's gotten a lot of couples back together after breakups - couples who not only get back together but also stay together - then you need to go to the real expert. This is what you're looking for: The Magic Of Making Up.